


If I were to lose you, my life would lose all meaning - MarvelLokiLove

by MarvelLokiLove



Series: Sirius Black/ Remus Lupin oneshots [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Domestic Boyfriends, Established Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Except for Remus, F/M, Harry Potter is Not the Boy-Who-Lived, Hurt Remus Lupin, James Potter & Lily Evans Potter Live, James Potter is a Good Friend, Lily Evans Potter is a Good Friend, Lily and Sirius Are Best Friends, M/M, Minor James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin is overprotective, Sad Sirius Black, Sirius Black Never Went to Azkaban, Sirius Black is a Good Boyfriend, Sirius Black is scared of confrontation, Sirius Black is scared of losing Remus, Sirius Black need a hug, Sirius and Remus live together, Werewolf Remus Lupin, everyone knows that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 23:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29497737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarvelLokiLove/pseuds/MarvelLokiLove
Summary: Remus and Sirius move to live out in the country. And just before a particular full moon they get into a fight, which leads to Remus being alone during the full moon for the first time in years. Which in turn leads to Remus getting badly hurt, Sirius finds him and panics.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin & James Potter, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & James Potter, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Sirius Black/ Remus Lupin oneshots [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1936012
Kudos: 26





	If I were to lose you, my life would lose all meaning - MarvelLokiLove

**Author's Note:**

> And I know that I have written a werewolf transformation fic once before, but this time it's Remus who gets hurt, (Sorry for spoilers) I just have a weird obsession with these types of fics, I promise that this will be my last one-shot like this.

Sirius and Remus had moved to the countryside, away from everyone and everything. James and Lily would visit from time to time, but most of the time they had the house all to themselves. They had bought the house so that the full moons would be easier, well, that’s what Sirius told everyone, but if you asked Remus, he would say that he had bought the house so that Sirius could get away from the city and be in the peace of the countryside, Remus would explain that Sirius had been through enough and that the stillness would be good for him. It didn’t really matter to them, they were just happy to be together and happy.

Sirius was standing in the kitchen, chopping potatoes and carrots and tossing them into the boiler, Remus was laying on the living room couch with only the top of his head visible from where Sirius stood, the radio was playing Elvis and Sirius was swaying his hips softly, the sun was still high in the sky and at that moment all of the worries that would come later that night were non-existent. The living room window was open, the curtains slowly flowing in the wind and if Remus were to turn his head, he could see the vast meadows that went on for miles, starting just a few feet from their fence, “Do you want your meat rare or medium?” SIrius asked, just for a second he glanced out of the window at the sun that was slowly crawling closer to the horizon, “Rare, thank you” Remus said, Sirius turned to face the couch and hummed before turning back to the chopping block, he took the meat out of the plastic package and put it in the oven, just a few moments and he would take it out. He watched as the soup started boiling lazily. He had decided to make an apple pie for dessert after he had gotten a good recipe from Lily after she had found out that they had apple trees in their yard. He took the apple and the ingredients for the dough out and started cutting them and was just mixing the dough when the oven let out a beeb, indicating that it was ready, “Rem, love. Can you get the over for me?” he said into the living room, Remus basically jumped up and ran to the over to get everything out, “Thank you” Sirius said once Remus had placed the trays on the table, “If you don’t mind, I could use some help with the apples, can you slice them for me?” He asked, once again Remus was so quick that Sirius didn’t even get to finish his sentence before Remus was already cutting the apples.

When they finally sat down to eat, it was already past six and Remus would glance out of the window every few minutes or so, “It’s a nice night today, maybe we should go out to run today” Sirius suggested, not turning to look up at Remus, there was a awkward moment of silence, “I don’t know, I’m not feeling well. Maybe I should just stay in the shed, James and McGonagall put on a few charms, it’s soundproof and we made sure that I couldn’t get out during my transformation” Remus answered after a while, “You mean ‘us’?” Sirius asked, cocking an eyebrow, “No, just me. I think it’’something might go wrong tonight” Remus said, once again glancing out of the window and at the sun that was slowly but surely disappearing behind the skyline. “You’ve said that before and nothing happened. Why would this time be any different?” Sirius asked, “Sirius, please. It’ll be fine and you can come in as soon as the sun rises, okay?” Remus said, even if there was a question, his tone of voice made it clear that this was the final decision. Sirius slammed his hands on the table and stood up, he didn't even glance at Remus before making his way upstairs and into their bedroom and slamming the door closed behind himself.

Sirius didn’t leave their bedroom until he was sure that Remus had left the house and went into the shed, he peeked through the curtains, the night was quiet, there was no movement, expect for the small shakes of the shed walls as Remus’ werewolf form ran into them in an attempt to get out. Sirius sighed, he had acted totally immature earlier, running off and slamming the door like a small child, he scoffed, Remus earned it, Sirius was supposed to always be there, He and Remus had promised each other that they would always be there for each other and right now the ladder was alone in the cold shed in their backyard, ripping himself apart and trying to escape. He grabbed a hold of one of the blankets on their bed and pulled it down around him and leaned on the window frame, staring up at the moon, waiting for it to finally disappear behind the horizon.

He woke up a few hours later when the cold wind blew in his face, he shot up, pulling the blanket closer to himself when the cold wind blew at his face from the open window, he turned to the shed, normally, Remus would leave the door open, but now it was closed, which he found odd, he turned away from the window and made his way out of their bedroom, down the stairs, into the hallway and then out of the door, pulling the blanket closer to himself and grabbing his wand off of the table by the front door. He stepped out and the crisp morning air hit him, he made his way to the shed and pulled the heavy door open, pulling a face at the smell of blood, it stung and he couldn’t really see anything, only the small portion that was lit by the light. He muttered a spell and the room was filled with light from the small fire that floated in the air, his eyes widened when he saw Remus laying on the far end of the shed, his back facing him and a puddle of blood underneath him.

“Remus!” He yelled, he didn’t wait for a response, but broke into a run and made his way to his husbands form on the floor, he fell on his knees, the blood staining them and the corners of the blanket that hit the floor, his hands hovered over Remus body, his wand in the other, his free hands rested down on Remus lower neck, sighing when he felt a pulse, he wasn’t a healer by any means, but he was scared to move Remus and luckily, he had learned a few healing spells from Lily, just in case. He thanked her in his head, promising to thank her when he could. “Si-” there was a faint whisper, he turned to look at Remus' face, seeing his eyes moving behind his closed eyelids. “Remus, can you speak, where does it hurt?” he asked, gently turning Remus fully on his back, “Sir-” He said again, “Remus, what hurts? please, tell me, did you break anything?” He felt pressure on his leg and turned to look down, Remus' hand was resting on his tight, blood spreading onto his pants. He took a deep breath and sighed, “I’m sorry, this will hurt” he said, moving his hand and pressing down on his ribs, he felt a dent and took a deep breath, “Brackium Emendo” He said, there was a snap and Remus took in a deep inhale, “It’s alright, it’s alright” Sirius said, kissing Remus temple. He wasn’t sure if Remus heard him, it was most likely just him wanting to tell himself that it would be alright. The bleeding wouldn’t stop and he pulled the blanket off his shoulders and pressed it down on the wound on his side, “Rem--Honey, can you speak, please? I need you to talk to me” Sirius said, glancing between Remus’ face and the wound on his side, the blood was starting to soak out the blanket and his hands. There was no answer from Remus, but he was still sleeping, Sirius raised his wand again and muttered a spell, the blanket pressed itself down against the wound, Sirius stood up and ran out of the shed, into their house and into their kitchen. He looked through the cabinets, looking for the blood-replenishing potion, he found the bottle that Lily had given to him the last time they had visited. He grabbed some bandages and a towel on his way back out.

When he got back, the blanket was completely soaked and Remus seemed a 100 times paler than 5 minutes earlier. He quickly made his way back to his side, “Remus, You have to drink this, okay?” he asked, gently moving Remus’ head onto his lap and pouring a little pit of the potion into his mouth, “Honey, swallow for me, please” he said, sighing in relief when Remus reacted and drank the potion, he stared as the color started returning to Remus’ skin, “Vulnera Sanentur'' the wound on Remus’ side started healing and Sirius sighed when Remus’ eyes opened, they were still foggy and dim, but he saw recognition in them when he noticed him, “Remus? Can you hear me?” he asked, but Remus closed his eyes and didn’t answer. Sirius knew that he wasn’t bleeding anymore, so he moved him into their house and after a lot of trying, he finally got him up the stairs and into their bed. He checked that Remus was comfortable and then left the room and walked downstairs.

He sat down on the couch and took the phone off the table and phone, dialing the Potter’s phone number, there was a long wait, until the phone was picked up, “Hello?” LIly’s voice answered, “Hey Lily, it’s me, Sirius'' he said, “Sirius. Hey! What’s up? How did last night go?” She asked, “Well, that’s what I called about'' He said, there was a moment of silence, “Sirius. Is everything alright?” She asked, worry clear in her voice, Sirius was quiet for a moment, everything hitting him at once and before he knew it he was crying, “Lils, he almost died, we had- we had a fight and he went alone--and I-'',he couldn’t finnish, “Stay there, I will be there soon” She said, hanging up and a second later, there was a pop from their kitchen and soon, Lily was standing next to him, “Sirius, are you alright, dear?” she asked, sitting down next to him, he took a deep sigh, the warmth of Lily felt nice against his own, cold form, “He almost died..” he said, looking down at his still blood covered hands and clothes, Lily took his hands into his, “It’s going to be alright, I’m sure of it” She said, Sirius looked up at her, “Is Ja-” he couldn’t finnish before Lily spoke, “James is at home, you can call him if you want” She said, “I will go check on Remus, okay?” She said, when Sirius nodded, she got up and walked out of the room. Sirius just stared into space for a moment before picking up the phone and raising it to his ear, he dialed the number and within seconds, James picked the phone up and answered, “Sirius, Is everything alright?” he asked. When Sirius heard James’ voice, he broke down, “He- he almost, James. I couldn’t do anything, he was blee- I didn’t know what to do- He--I” He tried to explain between sobs. “Sirius, I can’t understand you. Calm-Wait there, I will come over” Before Sirius could answer, James had hung up the call and then there was a pop from the hallway and soon James appeared in the doorway, “Pads, are you alright?” He asked, running over to him and pulling him into a hug, Sirius buried his face in the crook of James’ neck, James was bigger than him and his frame covered Sirius completely. “James, I don’t know what to do- What if h-” He started, but James cut him off, “Pads, stop it, you did all that you could, don’t blame yourself” Sirius started crying again, sobbing into James’ chest. 

Sirius cried until he fell asleep, a combination of staying up late the night before and crying. James and Lily made sure that he was comfortable and left him to sleep on the couch, while they made food. When Sirius woke up, James was sleeping at the other end of the couch and LIly was sitting on the armchair next to the couch and reading a book. “Sirius. Do you want something to eat, we made food, I can heat something up for you if you’d like?” She asked, Sirius nodded and got up, following Lily to the kitchen and sitting down on the chair closest to the window, “Remus’ sleeping, I checked and all of his wound healed nicely, you did a good job” Lily said while filling the plate and getting everything ready for him, “Thanks” He said, “We fought and I got angry and didn’t talk to him, then I found him like that. Lils, do you think I could’ve caused this?” He asked, Lily turned around to face him, “Sirius Orion Black. How many times do I have to remind you that you didn’t cause this, or hurt Remus in any way, you ‘re both stressed and worried for each other. It was the wolf that did this to him and you helped the best you could. Remus wouldn’t want you to worry like this, do you understand?” She finished, for a second Sirius just stared, “You can go see him once you’ve eaten, the last time I checked, he was still sleeping” Lily explained, Sirius nodded and thanked her when she placed the plate in front of him. 

Sirius stood outside the door to his and Remus’ bedroom, his hand gripping the knob, hoping that Remus would be awake. He took a deep breath and pushed the door open, he turned to look up at the bed and let out a breath, that he hadn’t realised he had been holding, when he saw Remus looking at him from the bed, “Siri-'' Remus didn’t get the challenge to finish his sentence when Sirius was already sitting on the bed next to him, his face hidden in the crook of Remus’ neck, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Rem- I didn- I’m so sorry” He repeated himself over and over, in his head though, his thoughts were loud and clear; “Why isn’t he hugging me back? Does he hate me? What am I going to do? He definitely hates me! Remus hates me? No, this can’t be happening!” His line of thought cut off when Remus’ hands wrapped around his waist, the other reaching to curl around Sirius’ hair, brushing through it in a comforting gesture, they stayed like that for a few minutes before Remus spoke, “You have nothing to be worried about, you did nothing wrong” He said, pulling away and wiping a tear away from Sirius’ cheek, “But I-” Sirius didn’t get the chance to fight back, because Remus pulled him into a kiss, they pulled away, neither of them saying anything, Sirius’ eyes travelled down to Remus stomach, where the wound had been, right now, a huge scar was forming there, he traced his fingers over it, “It’s alright, I have gotten used to the scars by now” Remus said, chuckling, Sirius frowned and stared Remus straight in the eyes, “Do not make jokes about this, I was sure I was going to lose you!” he yelled, slamming his hands against Remus’ chest, Remus looked stunned for a moment, “I thought that you were going to die, and if you didn’t, you were going to hate me and leave, because I didn’t do enough! Do you have any idea what that felt like!?” Sirius continued, Remus stared at him for a long time before speaking, “I would never leave you for something like this” He answered, just loudly enough so that Sirius could hear him, the smaller man in front of him immediately froze, “What?” He asked, his hands sliding down Remus’ chest and ending on his lap, “If I were to lose you, my life would lose all meaning” He continued, taking Sirius’ hands in his, whose eyes filled with tears, he leaned forward and captured his lips in a loving kiss, after which he pulled Sirius against his chest.


End file.
